You were always apprehensive of the fact that your teen could indulge in sex and your doubts were confirmed when you found packets of condoms and birth control pills in their room. How does a parent approach a teen and tell them the need for safe sex? How do your warn them about the pitfalls of teen pregnancy? What is the best approach to inform them about sexually transmitted diseases?
Most teens tend to learn about sex from sources other than their school and parents and this leads them to have preconceived notions about it. As a parent it is your duty to inform your child before their approach their teens about sex, the need for safe sex and the consequences of unprotected sex.
Your immediate reaction when you come to know that your teen has been indulging in sex behind your back is to scream and take out your anger. If this is the option you choose you will only succeed in creating a rebel who would probably end up doing it more number of times than before.
Most parents are uncomfortable talking about sex even with adults so the question of discussing things in the right perspective with their teens just doesn't arise. It is such parents who are more shocked when they come to know that adolescent sex.
Talking about sex is not a onetime affair that you do on a particular day and then forget all about it. Your teen could come up with a lot of questions about sex which they feel are appropriate to ask and it is your duty as a parent that you should answer all their questions in the language they understand and not just confuse them with adult talk.
You as a parent must address the physical and emotional aspects of sex while talking about it to your teen. Do not indulge in a long lecture of do's and don'ts.
Most teenagers are comfortable with either one of the parents and if your teen happens to be a girl you as a mother can talk with her about the pitfalls of unsafe sex and teen pregnancy. As a father you could have a conversation with your son about sex and its consequences at an early age. Teens prefer talking to their respective gender parents about sex as the awkwardness is less then.
You could also inform them about the various sexually transmitted diseases and the precautions that one needs to take regarding this.
If you do come to know that they have indulged in sexual activity then you need to make them realize the importance of love in a relationship and that sex is just one beautiful aspect of it. You will need to approach the entire thing in a mature way and inform them that there will be consequences of sex, which at such a young age they might not be able to comprehend correctly.
You can also provide them knowledge about AIDS and other deadly sexually transmitted diseases that could prove life threatening. Most teens succumb to pressure from their peer group and your role, as a parent is quite significant as you can give them the necessary confidence to withstand and handle such pressure.
Sex and sexuality are beautiful aspects and you, as an adult must make sure that you provide your teens with adequate knowledge by communicating with them and removing any sort of misapprehensions that they might harbour regarding it.
In the book "Solving Teenage Problems" various tips to deal with teenage sex education have been provided. The book also provides various communication models to have difficult discussions with teenagers, so that you can structure your conversation to achieve optimal results.